What People Are Saying
Sandy and I do our very best to raise our kids to live with integrity, power in the world and openness to what is possible. The core values we try to instill in Julian and Ariana are compromised every time we deny who Sandy and I are to each other and every time we diminish what we mean to each other. We will no longer participate in the government’s erasure of our relationship and our marriage. We want our kids to grow up with the courage to step out and step up, even if it is difficult or risky. For us, refusing to lie on our taxes is a straightforward, and pretty minor way to demonstrate that courage ourselves.
As a lawyer and a legal advocate for the LGBT community, I am often in a position to advise people to exercise great caution and to comply in most cases with the letter of the law, even when that means denying who we are. This is my small way of saying, where we can, we are not going to play the game anymore.
There are already gay divorces taking place in states that have had gay marriage for awhile. But there's a serious problem: states that don't acknowledge gay marriage will not do these ievorcds. And most if not all states have residency requirements for one to file for divorce. So now, gays who have marriages on the books have serious potential financial problems unless they want to move back to some state that has gay divorce in order to get one. Most people can't just up and leave where they are without significant hassle and upheaval.
I am a straight retired United Methodist minister (This is the first time "straight" has been first when I identified myself.) Our country is going to ruin when it forces people to lie. A nation that is dishonest and doesn't care about people is doomed, so I pray it will repent, and I work to elect leaders who will turn it around.
In my situation, DOMA has resulted in a serious financial loss. It first bit me when working for my former employer. It offered domestic partner benefits. So I enrolled my partner of 17 years into the program. Great! However, DOMA specified that my employer report the domestic partner’s benefits to be reported as income, which cost about $1,500 more in income taxes. Then, my partner lost his job – at least he had health insurance, I thought.
The second, bigger bight from DOMA came when I had to go out on long term disability. Technically COBRA does not allow you to carry a domestic partner. The stress mounted as I checked with lawyers and the HR department of the company I was leaving. It took a lot of work on my part, but I managed to get him added as a ‘Spouse’ since the company has a corporate office in California. So I managed to get him covered; however, the cost for him was much more than my own cost and is not tax-deductible as a health cost because our relationship is once again not federally recognized. Then, he came down with cancer. I had to pay over $30,000 in medical costs in 2011, drawing from savings I will likely need for later years. Now if my partner had been a wife, a brother, an aunt or a mother or some other federally recognized relation, I could have declared that I was head of household with substantial tax breaks. But because he is my domestic partner, and because DOMA forbids this relationship to be recognized, I have been left out in the cold. It is really a shame that the government we elect works more against us than for us.
My name is on the list to end DOMA. I'm a straight girl from Ohio, who married a great guy from Denmark. I wonder every day when my same-sex family and friends will finally be free of all this discrimination. My married brother and my BFF's have had to travel to Canada to marry their partners because they are not free to do so here. They are faced with the same problems, and i hope every LGBT sister, brother, friend and family member will help and take a stand. This is not OK, and we all need to say so as often, and as loud as we can.
Yes, that's all true AND, would somebody please explain to me WHY 10+% percent of the population is required to pay taxes without equal representation in government and equal application of laws??? I think it's time to demand that these so-called "Good Christians" who block progress and demand that everything goes according to their narrow interpretations, start acting Christ-like instead of breaking the Golden Rule with each discriminating remark, action and legislation!
Just filed my 2011 taxes and although I am legally married to my husband in Connecticut I had to mark single. I am forced to pay taxes to a government that discriminates against me as a citizen. DOMA has to be overturned.
People are either equal or they're not. Please make up your damn minds.
It is beyond pathetic that things like this are still an issue.
While not married or in a SS relationship, I think it's ridiculous to discriminate this way. What year is this?
Not only are we presently required to lie in order to conform to DOMA, those of us who prepare our own tax returns--an already complex and time-consuming procedure--find it exponentially more complicated. Not that we have a lot of choice if we cannot locate an accountant who understands this legally sanctioned conundrum.